Entries from June 2008 ↓

One thing I’ve come to learn these past two years is how many unexpected things can occur when you allow them to, and how disappointing the expected is if you cling to it out of a desire for safety and security.

A few years ago the idea of moving across the country with nothing but a suitcase would have seemed impossible. I couldn’t imagine how to proceed or how I would survive. Clinging to the expected and the risk-free were things I did to avoid introspection. I knew what I was capable of because it was all things I had done already. A lack of challenge leads to a lack of ability to see any distance ahead. It was only when I set my sights on moving to Seattle that I was able to once again begin challenging myself in unexpected ways.

My primary motivation was thus: anything but here. I had hit the bottom and anything at all in Seattle would be at least a half-step above where I was before. Being in a place where I essentially knew no one would give me a chance to redefine myself by the challenges I faced and overcame. I had done what I had never expected of myself, and was free to continue on that path, exploring what I had as of yet not acknowledged the existence of. Each day I find myself waking up happier to be alive than I ever had felt in Minnesota, and excited about what lays ahead for me here.

All has not been champagne and roses, though. There has been drama borne of miscommunication and my own occasional boneheadedness. There has been heartbreak. All in all, though, the calculated risks have been well worth the cuts and bruises I’ve endured so far. I’d make some sort of mountain-climbing analogy but it wouldn’t be adequate, as you can’t really stay on top of a mountain and so it is an empty accomplishment. I’d say my move to Seattle is more akin to having been lost in the desert and finding a beautiful and lush oasis. That is really what Seattle is — an oasis for those of us who are tired of who or what we were and wish to become what we had thought impossible.

Each day I silently thank those who have helped me along the way. You should know who you are if you’re reading this, and now it’s on paper sotospeak. Thank you for putting up with me as I improve upon my former self, little by little. Thank you for introducing me to worlds of experiences that I otherwise would have avoided like the plague. Thank you for pushing me to succeed, and to enjoy that success.

And to cap this post, a poem from Robert Frost, appropriately titled “Happiness Makes Up in Height for What It Lacks in Length”

Oh, stormy stormy world,
The days you were not swirled
Around with mist and cloud,
Or wrapped as in a shroud,
And the sun’s brilliant ball
Was not in part or all
Obscured from mortal view–
Were days so very few
I can but wonder whence
I get the lasting sense
Of so much warmth and light.
If my mistrust is right
It may be altogether
From one day’s perfect weather,
When starting clear at dawn,
The day swept clearly on
To finish clear at eve.
I verily believe
My fair impression may
Be all from that one day
No shadow crossed but ours
As through its blazing flowers
We went from house to wood
For change of solitude.

Recognizably from the screenwriter of American Beauty, Alan Ball, Towelhead was a fantastic film for me to end my SIFF experience with.

Towelhead manages to tackle the difficult issues of racism, sexualization of teens, and molestation in a non-judgmental way. As charming as Aaron Eckhart is, I don’t want to sympathize with his 13-year-old-molesting character. He knew what he was doing, and did it not once but twice. He wholly deserves what is coming to him and while the film doesn’t reinforce that, thankfully it doesn’t actively attempt to paint him as a victim.

The casting, overall, was fantastic. The actress who played Jasira was great and the whole film rests on her shoulders. The actor that played the role of Jasira’s father, however, seemed a bit out of place. He provided a lot of comedic value, but in more of an uncomfortable and unintentional way. The character itself was someone I wouldn’t trust, even at the end of the film — he was two-faced to the core. Even so, my primary complaint is that even after having forty minutes cut from it, it felt like it ran a bit long. For a drama that is supposed to keep you hooked, that’s not a good thing.

A drama in a similar vein of American Beauty, you will definitely see this on DVD in the states and should pick it up or catch it on Netflix.

I rate Towelhead 4 out of 5 golden space needles. Happy end-of-SIFF.

Visioneers is a bit of a 1984ish black comedy which takes place in some unspecified bleak future. It was alright, but as David pointed out, tries a little too hard to be funny. The pacing was a bit slow and before long the impact of the initial film-wide jokes wore off.

I rate Visioneers 3 out of 5 minutes of productivity before the weekend.

I wish I could forget this huge waste of time. The first fifteen minutes is of this old guy walking around his apartment in the nude pouring and drinking coffee. The rest is various scenes of him doing ridiculous shit like talking to a gigolo who was someone else’s gigolo who was also a gigolo for another gigolo, etc. What a steaming pile of pretentious shit. The only siff film so far that we have walked out of.

Fucking awful.

So, tonight eight of us saw Island of Lost Souls, a movie that speaks heavily of wizards and necromancers in the summary. It is actually about a lot of little wisps from Warcraft III that fly around possessing people. Oh, and there’s a necromancer who summons more wisps and has a single scarecrow minion. Not really the hordes of undead overtaking the town as I expected, and the magical battles are fairly limited to one at the beginning and one at the end. The rest of the film involves a lot of nonsense like finding secret black-magic infoz from books published by HarperCollins.

The film is clearly geared towards the PG-13 crowd — teens whose parents perhaps played D&D at one point, or who liked the Harry Potter books but couldn’t stand the incredible special effects of the movies. There are several good humorous points — some subtle, some not-so-much — and as far as adolescent fantasy movies go, this was up there. Unfortunately, I am in my mid-to-late 20s.

I rate Island of Lost Souls 3 out of 5 Nimbus 2000s.

I have a new favorite film of SIFF.

XXY is a film about a fifteen year-old “girl” named Alex who is a hermaphrodite. Brought up by her family as a girl, she stops taking her testosterone inhibitors around the same time that her mother invites the family of a cosmetic surgeon to visit for several days. The mother, having always wanted multiple daughters, is blatantly (yet quietly) pushing for a snip-job. The father isn’t so sure, and knows only that he loves his child unconditionally.

I hope you aren’t expecting a paragraph about the film’s flaws, because they escaped me. The characters are complex and most display some form of emotional evolution — even minor characters like Alex’s best friend Vando learn from the events over the course of the film.

While “controversial” Hollywood garbage like Transamerica claim to ask the question “What is gender?” It fails miserably by examining only whether or not the gender-attribute of a person can be switched, not whether or not the gender-attribute is important at all. XXY asks these questions — not just “What is gender?” but “Why is gender?” Why is it so important? Alex is smart enough to answer this question, and even some which remain unasked.

I rate XXY 5 out of 5 shades of grey.

Sometimes a film springs up which tries too hard to become a cult hit. Otto is one of those. Perhaps it is simply the director Bruce LeBruce’s style, but simply mixing some hardcore gay porn with a zombie chewing on roadkill and making fun of a pretentious indie film maker doesn’t mean that you, yourself, are not a pretentious indie film maker.

Otto was certainly interesting, though the ideal audience is really an incredibly narrow demographic. Count yourself out if you aren’t a fan of all of the following: gore, penises, lame dramatic moments, penises in the mouths/asses/chest-wounds of other men, poultry butchering, overdone-yet-still-half-baked ironic jokes, poor cinematography and audio work.

Luckily for me, I still like a few of those things.

I rate Otto; or, Up With Dead People 3 out of 5 homosexual zombie orgies.

The first movie of this weekend was Saturn in Opposition, an Italian issue-film disguised as a sappy bisexual soap-opera. The characters, even the ones you’re supposed to dislike, are likable enough and pretty well acted. The main event — the young protagonist in a coma — is straight out of the soaps, as are the endless supply of pretty people.

Rating withheld because the theatre was evacuated 5-10 mins before the end, likely because of some retard pulling the fire alarm. Honestly though, I probably would have given it something in the mid-range. I’m not going to buy it on DVD or pay another $8 to see the end.